


All my fault

by gilles_loki



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 01:47:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14274270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilles_loki/pseuds/gilles_loki
Summary: A little piece inspired by the events of the Bahrain Grand Prix. Sort and crappy, but I felt really bad for Kimi and this came into my head at work today.





	All my fault

Never in a million years would Kimi ever had guessed that the Bahrain Grand Prix would end up like this. A podium had been firmly set in his sights, the opportunity maybe to fight for a win. He was there, fighting hard and focused on his race. 

Then that pit stop had occurred. 

Guilt flooded his system as he thought about it. Despite how he knew that it wasn’t his fault, he had just done what he was meant to do and go when the light went green, he still felt guilty. 

Someone had been injured because of him. 

Not just someone, but Francesco. 

Francesco had been at Ferrari for a long time, Kimi had known the man for a long time and he had been horrified when he had realized what had happened. 

As soon as he had pulled away and the team had started screaming at him to stop he had been confused and angry. 

Confused because he didn’t know what had happened, angry because it must have meant they had fucked up his pit-stop, which meant points down the drain. The chance of a podium, and the potential to maybe fight for a win gone. 

Confusion had taken over when he had gotten out of the car and turned around to walk back to the garage and seen the mechanic on the ground and all the people around him, doctors already there. He didn’t want to go over as he would just get in the way, so it was a split-second decision to head straight back to the garage. 

Mark was the one that told him what had happened, and Kimi was hit with a wall of emotions. 

Shock, horror, guilt, anger, confusion. 

Francesco wasn’t just someone he worked with, he was a friend, and it hit him like a ton of bricks. 

Media interviews were the last thing Kimi wanted to do, but he stumbled his way through them. 

All he wanted to do was to leave, to hide away. 

The drive back to the hotel was silent, only interrupted by his mobile phone ringing. 

Not wanting to talk to anyone, Kimi ignored the phone calls and text messages, even though they were likely from people wanting to know how he was. 

Mark tried to persuade Kimi to have something to eat but Kimi declined, his stomach heavy and he couldn’t face eating anything.

Instead he went back to his hotel room, pulling the curtains and burying himself under the bed covers, eventually finding enough courage to call Minttu. Talking to her helped a little bit. Almost desperately he wanted to be with her, to be close to her, and it was highly tempting to just fly back to Switzerland instead of going to China for the next race. A race he now dreaded going to. How could he walk into the garage and face everyone there, as they looked at him and remembered what he had done. That Francesco wouldn’t be there. 

Sitting in the dark, all he wanted to do was sleep but with his mind working on overdrive it didn’t seem to be happening. 

Eventually the door banged open, and Kimi blinked when the lights were suddenly switched on. 

“Why are you sitting in the dark?” Sebastian asked, looking over at Kimi. 

Kimi didn’t make any move to respond, instead pulling the bed covers over his head, hiding away from the light. 

There was the soft rustle of clothing, before he felt the bed dip and a body pressed against his, tugging the covers away from his face. 

“Leave me alone.” Was Kimi’s response, and his voice sounded weak.

“No.” Kimi didn’t know what Sebastian wanted, but Kimi just wished that he would hurry up and leave. If he was going to try and persuade Kimi to go to an afterparty Kimi was going to punch him. “Look at me Kimi.” 

A soft hand gently gripped his chin, directing him to look up at Sebastian, bright blue eyes full of concern. 

“I know what you’re thinking, but none of this is your fault. It was an accident, it could have happened to anyone. You were in no way responsible for what happened to Francesco.” Kimi didn’t want to look at Sebastian, but the German was insistent, refusing to let Kimi look away, continuing to talk even when Kimi didn’t respond. “Everyone could see how shocked you were, but no one blames you. It could quite have easily been my car, not yours.”

“I hurt him, it was my fault. He is in hospital because of me.” 

“He is in hospital because of a freak accident. It isn’t like you decided to intentionally run over one of your mechanics. A broken leg isn’t bad, but he’s going to survive. They have already operated and are already planning on getting him up and walking.” It might not have been intentional, but it didn’t make Kimi feel any better. His only hope was that Francesco’s leg did heal up properly with no ill effects, but then thought that it might not it him and another wave of despair hit him. 

Sebastian must have noticed, because he pulls Kimi into a hug, and despite how Kimi resists at first it did actually feel quite good. They stay like that, shifting positions slightly so that Kimi can rest his head on Sebastian’s bare chest. The sound of his heartbeat was quite comforting, and so was the hand that gently ran though his short hair. 

“You should give him a call, talk to him. He doesn’t hate you, he is in good spirits, and he was worried about you.” Sebastian’s voice was soft, and Kimi didn’t make any attempt to move. 

“He should.” Kimi murmured softly. “Minttu said I should call him as well.”

The hand on his head moved to tilt his head up wards, once again looking into Sebastian’s concerned blue eyes. 

“Well he doesn’t hate, you should know that they breed them tough in Maranello. Come on, give him a call, it might make you feel a little bit better. And Minttu is a smart woman. I’ll call Antti and get him to go and get us some takeout.” Kimi felt bad again; Sebastian should be out celebrating his win, not spending it with Kimi sulking in his hotel room. 

“Do not need to stay here with me, should celebrate your win.” 

“Not every win needs to be celebrated with a party. There is no where else that I would rather be than here with you.” Sebastian leaned down to place a couple of kissed on Kimi’s forehead before shifting, offering Kimi’s phone to him. 

“Talk to him, and I’ll go and get Antti to get us some horrible takeout that isn’t in either of our diet plans.” Sebastian reached across to grab his own phone as Kimi paused, looking at his own in his hand. “I’ll stay here with you if your like, I’m not going to leave.”

Sebastian looked down at Kimi with so much love in his eyes it just about made Kimi’s eyes water; He didn’t deserve someone like this. 

The German continued to smile, leaning down to place a soft kiss on Kimi’s lips before wrapping his arms around him. “I’m right here.”

Kimi took a deep breath and stared at his phone for a couple of minutes before sighing deeply, moving to unlock it so he could make that phone call.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

“See, now don’t you feel a bit better?” Sebastian spoke, looking over at Kimi who was eating his take-out with none of his usual enthusiasm. 

“A little.” He did feel a little bit better, talking to Francesco did help. “Why the fuck did you let Antti pick the movie though?”

Antti had turned up later, Chinese take-out in hand along with a movie, which turned out to be Despicable Me 3. Despite his mood, the take-out wasn’t to bad and the movie wasn’t that bad either. 

“I’m glad that you are.” Sebastian had that dopy looking smile on his face again, and Kimi mustered up enough energy to roll his eyes, placing his take-out container on the bedside table before snuggling back down onto Sebastian, who happily wrapped his arm around Kimi. 

Only half watching the movie, Kimi felt his eyes grow heavy, wrapping his arm tighter around Sebastian’s chest as his heartbeat lulled him to sleep. 

“Love you Kimi.” Sebastian spoke, voice soft. 

“Love you to Sebi.” Kimi murmured to the soft skin of Sebastian’s chest, letting his eyes close and sleep take him.


End file.
